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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Stress management: Identify your sources of stress

Your response to the demands of the world determines your stress level. Take time to consider common stressors and how they affect you.

By Mayo Clinic staff The kids are screaming, the bills are due and the pile of papers on your desk is growing at an alarming pace. It's undeniable — life is full of stress. Understanding the types and sources of stress — big and small, short-term and long-term, internal and external — is an important part of stress management. So what stresses you out?

Two main types of stress

Stress is your body's reaction to the demands of the world. Stressors are events or conditions in your surroundings that may trigger stress. Your body responds to stressors differently depending on whether the stressor is new — acute stress — or whether the stressor has been around for a longer time — chronic stress.

Acute stress

Also known as the fight-or-flight response, acute stress is your body's immediate reaction to a significant threat, challenge or scare. The acute-stress response is immediate and intense, and in certain circumstances it can be thrilling. Examples of acute stressors include a job interview, a fender bender or an exhilarating ski run.
A single episode of acute stress generally doesn't cause problems for healthy people. However, severe acute stress can cause mental health problems, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, and even physical difficulties such as a heart attack.

Chronic stress

Mild acute stress can actually be beneficial — it can spur you into action, motivate and energize you. The problem occurs when acute stressors pile up and stick around. This persistent stress can lead to health problems, such as headaches and insomnia. The chronic-stress response is much more subtle than is the acute-stress response, but the effects may be longer lasting and more problematic.
Effective stress management involves identifying and managing both acute and chronic stress.

Know your stressors

Effective stress management starts with identifying your sources of stress and developing strategies to manage them. One way to do this is to make a list of the situations, concerns or challenges that trigger your stress response. Take a moment to write down the top 10 issues you're facing right now. You'll notice that some of your stressors are events that happen to you while others seem to originate from within.

External exasperations

External stressors are events and situations that happen to you. Some examples of external stressors include:
  • Major life changes. These changes can be positive — a new marriage, a planned pregnancy, a promotion or a new house. Or they can be negative — the death of a loved one or a divorce.
  • Environment. The input from the world around us can be a source of stress. Consider how you react to noises, such as a barking dog, or to too much or too little light in a room.
  • Unpredictable events. Out of the blue, uninvited houseguests arrive. Or you discover your rent has gone up or that your pay has been cut.
  • Family. The occasional spousal spat, a teenager who refuses to cooperate or a nagging mother-in-law can all contribute to stress.
  • Workplace. Common stressors at work include an impossible workload, urgent deadlines and a demanding boss.
  • Social. Just think about going on a blind date and you probably start to sweat.
Strategies to manage external stressors include lifestyle factors such as eating a healthy diet, being physically active and getting enough sleep — which help boost your resiliency. Other helpful steps include asking for help from others, using humor, learning to be assertive, and practicing problem solving and time management.

Internal irritations

Not all stress stems from things that happen to you. Much of our stress response is self-induced. Those feelings and thoughts that pop into your head and cause you unrest are known as internal stressors. Examples of internal stressors include:
  • Fears. Common ones include fear of flying, fear of heights and fear of public speaking.
  • Uncertainty. Few people enjoy not knowing what might happen. Think about how you might react when waiting for the results of a medical test.
  • Beliefs. These might be attitudes, opinions or expectations. You may not even think about how your beliefs shape your experience, but these preset thoughts often set us up for stress. Consider the expectations you put on yourself to create a perfect holiday celebration or advance up the career ladder.
The good news is that we have the ability to control our thoughts. The bad news is that our fears, attitudes and expectations have been our companions for a long time and it often takes some effort to change them. Strategies to manage internal stressors include reframing your thoughts, challenging negative thoughts, using relaxation techniques, and talking with a trusted friend or counselor.

Take the first step

Recognizing a problem is the first step toward solving it. By beginning to identify and understand the sources of your stress, you've taken the first step in learning to better manage it. Manage it, not eliminate it. Stress is a fact of life. And that's OK. You can handle it.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Do Share it ...

حضرت ابوہریرہ فرماتے ہیں کہ رسول اللہ صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم نے ارشاد فرمایا۔ ایمان کی شاخیں ستر سے کچھ اوپر ہیں ان میں سب سے اعلیٰ درجہ کی شاخ زبان و دل سے اس بات کا اقرار و اعتراف ہے کہ اللہ کے سوا کوئی معبود نہیں اور سب سے کم درجہ کی شاخ کسی تکلیف دینے والی چیز کا راستہ سے ہٹا دینا ہے نیز شرم و حیا بھی ایمان کی ایک شاخ ہے۔" (صحیح البخاری و صحیح مسلم

Monday, April 4, 2011

Who Are We To Judge Others?

Who Are We To Judge Others?

Ahhh chakh disgusting...500+ comments and almost all are abusive and cheap. On Face book usually pages upload or share videos of public personalities film actors or politicians about their personal life and actions, indeed things of no importance at all, and fans start passing nonstop comments. 
In fact writing on this topic (that Judging People is wrong) and thus I am doing so (Judging Other), when I am writing about this we shouldn't judge others, and myself feeling hypocrite, because I am also practicing the same thing that I am condemning in others.
                                                                                                                                                 mage source

Why we feel itch to comment on the all things, why we are all guilty of occasionally jumping to conclusions about people??? Now-a-days judging others, criticizing and backbiting have become habit of us and unfortunately, we all do it and about all things, big and small, we judge others. Their actions, choices, behaviors, relationships, likes and dislikes and even their personalities, all time ready for judgment. This is mainly due to the influence of self loving, we consider our self 'A Right Man' who never do anything wrong so has right to judge others so the act of judgment is an act of pride. Or we judge and make fun of others to cover up our insecurities. Thus by doing this we as human beings feel better about ourselves. Not only we judge people but also be critical of things around us, the condition of the weather, political matters, the taste of your food, a television program - at every moment of the day.
Judging people for the wrong reasons, like how they look, or what their interests are, then we are simply being closed minded. We suppose them a person as inferior, or wrong, or stupid.

Obviously, this is difficult to control our self to involve in this bad habit but with some practice, attention and a desire to eliminate it we will stop doing this. In step we should refrain passing hurtful comments, because verbal attacks hurt others directly.
The old saying, "If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything!" is a perfect thing to apply here.

Secondly we should have default assumption about other people in every matter is that they are free of blame. Otherwise having negative assumptions will create negative thoughts inside you. What’s needed is to learn to see the good side. Islam demands fairness and impartiality when it comes to judging others. In Islam it is forbidden to base a judgment against someone on hearsay, conjecture or suspicion.

It's better we should change our response, by making it helpful, instead of a problem for someone or yourself. For any judgment situation
we should heed how will we make our comments helpful and useful. Look for ways to change the situation for the better. After all offering a helping hand is much better than
criticizing and discouraging. so make an effort and look for actions instead of wrongly assuming its a personality and look for ways to offer help instead of criticism.

And a most important point to remember is that "we don't have the right to say someone is right or wrong. Only God, who knows each individual's heart, can make final judgments of individuals."

No one really likes to be judged and so eliminating this from your own actions will improve your life and relationships!

Good And Evil

Good And Evil

Every morning a woman baked Chapati,for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She would always place the extra Chapati on the windowsill, for whosoever needed to eat it.

She noticed a hunchback came every day and took the extra Chapati. Instead of expressing gratitude, he would muttered the following words as he went on his way: "The evil you do remains with you. The good you do, comes back to you!"

This went on day after day after day. The woman felt very irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself. "Every day this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean? "

One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said.

And what did she do? She added poison to the Chapati she prepared for him!

As she was about to place it on the windowsill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said. Immediately, she threw his Chapati into the fire, prepared another one and put it on the sill.

As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the Chapati and muttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you. The good you do, comes back to you!"

The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Every day, as the woman placed the Chapati on the windowsill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months she had no news of him and she always prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak.

Looking at his mother he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged him for a morsel of food and he was kind enough to give me a whole Chapati."

"When he gave it to me, he said, 'This is what I eat every day. Today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!'"

As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned Chapati that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son and he would have lost his life!

It was then that she realized the significance of the words: "The evil you do remains with you. The good you do, comes back to you!"

Moral of the story: Do good and don't ever stop doing good, even if it's not appreciated at that time.

Sunday, April 3, 2011


You know about masses and what they want just sit and see the updates on all profiles/walls and you will be aware what all everybody want ... !!!
Our collective positive and virtues are so less then other things ...
Above all platform do matters for any thing to do like Facebook also part of that corrupt system ... Meanwhile m not disappointed but i know nothing will change unless individual acts are purely good and nations has to follow religion and encircle all deeds/acts to System of Allah Almighty ...
The way we think is also molted by the media you will not accept this all but its all truth ... sometimes you come at point where you cant manage what to do and what no to do ... Honestly see on all walks of life and you realize not a single department is purely the way it should be ... But as part of believe if something bad is going on you have three ways either to stop it by force or by speak and last stage to understand its bad so according to me :may be m wrong : we are standing and analyzing on last stage we understand/think this and that is wrong ...
Life is an exam so just go through it as a struggle you can put, just do it and do it clean and things will be good to you or other way you will be rewarded in hereafter ...Few things i like to add here in history of mankind there are two ways: Good and bad , m sure everyone knows the path of virtue/good has been adopted in all time by small group of people and always they were known/famous in history: Its the only point on has to understand You have to be good no matters what awam/public is doing : Just always care to strengthen you believe on what you haven't seen ...
Its just a way to think ...

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