How I Discovered The Holy Quran? MARYAM JAMEELAH
How I Discovered The Holy Quran?
MARYAM JAMEELAH
My
discovery of Holy Quran was tortuous and led me through strange by-ways but
since the end of the road was supremely worthwhile, I have never regretted my
experiences.
As
a small child I possessed a keen ear for music and was particularly fond of the
classical operas and symphonies considered the high culture in the West. Music
was my favourite subject in school in which I always earned the highest grades.
By sheer chance, when I was about eleven years old, I happened to hear Arabic
music over the radio which so much pleased me that I was determined to hear
more. As soon as I heard Arabic music, Western music at once lost of all its
appeal for me. I would not leave my parents in peace until my father finally
took me to the Syrian section in New York City where I brought a stack of
Arabic recordings for my gramophone. The one I liked best was a rendition of
the Surah Maryam of the Holy Quran chanted by Um Kulthum. Then in 1946, I could
not foresee what an evil woman she was to become in her later years; I admired
her for her beautiful voice which rendered those passages of Holy Quran with
such intense feeling and devotion. It was by listening to these recordings by
the hour that I came to love the sound of Arabic even though I could not
understand it. Without this basic appreciation of the Arabic musical idiom,
which sounds so utterly strange to the Westerner, I could not possibly have
grown to love Tilawat. My parents, relatives and neighbours thought Arabic and
its music dreadfully weird and so distressing to their ears that whenever I put
on my recordings, they demanded that I close all the doors and windows of my
room lest they be disturbed! After I embraced Islam in 1961, I used to sit
enthralled by the hour at the mosque in New York, listening to tape-recordings
of Tilawat chanted by the celebrated Egyptian Qari, Abdul Basit. But one Fuma
Salat, the Imam did not play the tapes. We had a special guest ---- a short,
very thin and poorly-dressed black youth who introduced himself to us as a
student from Zanzibar; buy when he opened his mouth to recite Surah ar-Rahman,
I never heard such glorious Tilawat even from Abdul Basit! This obscure African
adolescent possessed such a voice of gold, surely Hazrat Bilal must have
sounded much like him!
From
the age of ten I had developed a passion for reading all the books about the
Arabs I could lay my hands on at school or at the public libraries in my
community, especially those dealing with the historical relationship between
the Jews and Arabs, but it was not until more than nine years later that it
ever occurred to me to satisfy my curiosity about the Holy Quran. Gradually,
however, as I neared the end of the Arabs who had made Islam great but Islam
which had raised the Arabs from wild desert tribes to the masters of the world.
It was not until I wanted to find out just how and why this had happened that I
ever thought to read the Holy Quran for myself;
In
the summer of 1953 I overstrained myself at college by taking an accelerated
course of too many subjects. That August I fell ill and had to discontinue all
work for the remainder of the season. One evening when my mother was about to
go to the public library, she asked me if there was any book I wanted. I asked
her for a copy of Holy Quran. An hour later she returned with one-a translation
by the eighteenth century Christian missionary and scholar-George Sale. Because
of the extremely archaic language and the copious footnotes quoting from
al-Baidawi and Zamakhshari out of context in order to refute them from the
Christian viewpoint, I understood very little. At that time, my immature mind
regarded Quran as nothing more than distorted and garbled versions of the
familiar stories from the Bible! Although my first impression of Holy Quran was
unfavourable, I could not tear myself away from it. I read it almost
continuously for three days and nights and when I had finished, all my strength
had been drained away! Although I was only nineteen, I felt as weak as a woman
of eighty. I never recovered my fully strength or energy afterwards.
I
continued to nurse this poor opinion of Holy Quran until one day I found in a
bookshop a cheap paper-back edition of Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall’s translation.
As soon as I opened that book, it proved a revelation! The powerful eloquence
literally swept me off my feet. In the first paragraph of his preface, Pickthall wrote :
The
aim of this work is to present to English readers what Muslims the world over
hold to be the meaning of the words of the Quran and the nature of that Book in
not unworthy language and concisely with a view to the requirements of English
– speaking Muslims. It may reasonably be claimed that no Holy Scripture can be
fairly presented by one who disbelievers its inspiration and its message and
this is the first English at once recognize as unworthy. The Quran cannot be
translated. That is the conviction of the old-fashioned Shaikhs and the view of
the present writer. The Book here is rendered almost literally and every effort
is made to choose befitting language, but the result it not the Glorious Quran,
that inimitable symphony, the very sounds of which move men to tears and
ecstasy. It is only an attempt to present the meaning of the Quran—and,
peradventure, something of the charm-in English. It can never take the place of
the Quran in Arabic nor is it meant to do so.
I
then realized why George Sale’s translation was most unfair. From then on, I
refused to read his or any other renderings of Holy Quran by non-Muslims. After
reading Pickthall’s rendition, I discovered other English translations by Yusuf
Ali, Muhammad Ali Lahori and Maulana Abdul Majid Daryabadi. I found the
commentation by Yusuf Ali and Muhammad Ali Lahori offensive because of their
apologetic tone and far-fetched and unconvincing attempts to explain away those
passages conflicting with modern philosophies or scientific concepts. Their
translation of the Text was also weak. Although Maulana Daryabadi’s attempts to
pattern his translation of the Holy Quran on the archaic style of the King
Jame’s version of the Bible most annoyed me, I found his commentary excellent,
particularly those parts dealing with comparative religion and learned much
from it. However, Pickthall’s rendition remained my favourite and to this day,
I have never found any other English translation that can equal it. The sweep
of eloquence, the virility and dignity of the language is unsurpassed in any
other translation. Most other translations commit the mistake of using the word
“God” but Pickthall retains “Allah” throughout. This makes the message of Islam
strike the Western reader as more authentic and effective. Throughout the
darkest days during my years of hospitalization, I kept a paper-back edition of
Pickthall’s translation with me as my constant companion which I read over so
many times, I must have worn to pieces of half dozen copies. May Allah
abundantly reward Pickthall with the choicest blessings for making the
knowledge about the Quran so easily and cheaply available to England and
America! Were it not for him, I would not have been able to know and appreciate
it.
After
my discharge in 1959, I spent much of my leisure time reading books about Islam
in the Oriental Division of the New York Public Library. It was there I
discovered four bulky volumes of an English translation of Mishkat ul Masabih
by Al-Haj Maulana Fazlur Rahman of Calcutta. It was then I learned that a
proper and detailed understanding of Holy Quran is not possible without some
knowledge of the relevant Hadith, for how can the Holy Text correctly be
interpreted except by the Prophet to whom it wasrevealed? Those who disbelieve
the Hadith also disbelieve the Quran for its revelation explicity tells us that
one cannot follow what God wants us to do without an unquestioning acceptance
of the authority of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him).
Once
I had studied the Mishkat, I began to accept the Holy Quran as Divine
revelation. What persuaded me that the Quran must be from God and not composed
by Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was its satisfying and
convincing answers to all the most important questions of life which I could
not find elsewhere.
As
a child, I was so mortally afraid of death, particularly the thought of my own
death, that after nightmares about it, sometimes I would awaken my parents
crying in the middle of the night. When I asked them why I had to die and what
would happen to me after death, all they could say was that I had to accept the
inevitable but that was a long way off and because medical science was
constantly advancing, perhaps I would live to be a hundred years old! My
parents, the remainder of my family and all our friends contemptuously rejected
as superstition any thought of Hereafter, regarding Judgement Day, reward in
Paradise or punishment in Hell as outmoded concepts of by-gone ages. In vain I
searched all the verbose chapters of the Old Testament for any clear and
unambiguous concept of Hereafter. The prophets, patriarchs and sages of the
Bible all receive their rewards or punishments in this world. Typical is the
story of Job (Hazrat Ayub). God destroyed all his loved-ones, his possessions
and afflicted him with loathsome disease in order to test his faith. Job
plaintively laments to God why He should make a righteous man suffer. At the
end of the story, God restores all his earthly losses but nothing is even
mentioned about any possible consequences in the Hereafter. Although I did find
the Hereafter mentioned in the New Testament, compared with that of Holy Quran,
it is vague and ambiguous. I found no answer to the question of death in
Orthodox Judaism, for the Talmud preaches that even the worst life is better
than the best death. My parents’ philosophy was that one must avoid
contemplating the thought of death and just enjoy as best one can, the
pleasures life has to offer at the moment. According to them, the purpose of
life is enjoyment and pleasure achieved through self-expression of one’s talents,
the love of family, the congenial company of friends combined with the
comfortable living and indulgence in the variety of amusements that affluent
America makes available in such abundance. They deliberately cultivated this
superficial approach to life as if it were the guarantee for their continued
happiness and good-fortune. Through bitter experience I discovered that
self-indulgence leads only to misery and that nothing great or even worthwhile
is ever accomplished without struggle through adversity and self-sacrifice.
From earliest childhood I have always wanted to accomplish important and
significant things. Above all else, before my death I want the assurance that I
have not wasted my life in sinful deeds or worthless pursuits. All my life I have
been intensely serious-minded. I have always detested the frivolity which is
the dominant characteristic of contemporary culture. My father once disturbed
me with his unsettling conviction that there is no hing of permanent value and
because everthing in this modern age continually changes all the time, the best
we can do is accept the present trends as inevitable and adjust ourselves to
them. I, however, was thirsty to attain something that would endure forever. It
was from the Holy Quran where I learned that this aspiration was possible. No
good deed for the sake of seeking the pleasure of God is ever wasted or lost.
Even if the person concerned never achieves any worldly recognition, his reward
is certain in the Hereafter. Conversely, Quran tells us that those who are
guided by no moral considerations other that expediency or social conformity
and crave the freedom to do as they please, no matter how much worldly success
and prosperity they attain or how keenly they are able to relish the short span
of their earthly life, will be doomed as the losers on Judgement Day. Islam
teaches us that in order to devote our exclusive attention to fulfilling our
duties to God and to our fellow-beings, we must abandon all vain and useless
activities which distract us from this end. These teachings of Holy Quran, made
even more explicit by Hadith, were thoroughly compatible with my temperament.
When I embraced Islam, my parents, relatives and their friends regarded me
almost as a fanatic, because I could think and talk of nothing else. To them,
religion is a purely private concern which at the most perhaps could be
cultivated like an amateur hobby among other hobbies. But as soon as I read
Holy Quran, I knew that Islam was no hobby but life itself!
From
the onset of my adolescence until my migration to Pakistan at the age of
twenty-eight, I was a hopeless misfit. A young girl as serious minded as I was,
always with a pile of books at the library, who abhorred the cinema, dancing
and “pop” music, who did not enjoy “dating” and mixed parties and who took no
interest in romance, glamour, cosmetics, jewelry or fashionable clothes, had to
pay the full penalty of social ostracism for being “different.”
From
a bleak future in America, which had no place for a person like me, I escaped
when migrated to Pakistan. Although Pakistan, like every other Muslim country,
is being increasingly contaminated by the most noxious dirt from Europe and
America, still a sufficient number of Pakistanis remain good Muslims to provide
an environment which makes it possible
for the individual to lead a life in conformity to what Islam teaches. At
times, I must admit, I fail to apply to my own life what Islam demands that we
practice, but I never indulge in far-fetched interpretations of Quran or Sunnah
to justify my weaknesses and shortcomings. Whenever I do wrong, I readily admit
it and try my best to rectify my mistake. The happiness I have found in my new
life is entirely due to the fact that just those qualities of character and
temperament, Western society ridicules and scorns, in Islam are most keenly
appreciated and esteemed.
THE
HOLY PROPHET AND HIS IMPACT ON MY LIFE
Ever
since the days of my early childhood, my life has been dominated by a religious
outlook. This does not even exclude my adolescence and early youth when, due to
my disillusionment with the established Jewish synagogue and Christian
churches, I professed atheism for even then, my life was religious in the sense
that I was always in search for the absolute Truth which alone gives human life
its meanings, direction and purpose. I was not, however, raised in a religious
atmosphere. My family and their friends, having been thoroughly integrated into
American life, were Jews only nominally. They were thoroughly decent,
respectable, intelligent, broad-minded, cultured people who firmly believed in
and observed all the basic moral laws yet they denied that ethical behaviour
was dependent upon theology; in fact, they could not even understand the
relevance between the two. All of them regarded any conception of Divine reward
and punishment in life after death as an outmoded superstitious belief of
by-gone ages. Any concept of a personal Diety Who directly intervenes into
human affairs and would listen to the supplications of His devotees, Divine
revelation and Prophethood was also scorned for the same reasons. As soon as I
was repelled by the dominant values of my society, the purpose of which is
happiness, pleasure and enjoyment while I longed above all else to achieve
something eternally worth while. Since, according to this outlook, there are no
answers to the ultimates, one must avoid thinking about them and just enjoy as
best one can, the transitory pleasures life has to offer at the moment --- good
health, tasty food, comfortable living, the love of family, the companionship
of congenial friends and the variety of entertainments and amusements which
modern America makes available in such abundance. Never ask oneself, why we
were born, who created us, what is the purpose of our life, why we must die and
what will happen to us after death, lest one be afflicted with depression,
pessimism and despondency. Americans are often praised by outsiders because
they are not “static” and love, nay, worship---Change. According to these
“progressives,” America is synonymous with Progress because it is supposedly
the only country unimpeded by “rigid, archaic philosophies, social and
religious, and therefore able to nourish creative Change.” I never shared this
worship of Change for its own sake. To me, the absence of permanence and
stability in anything means the outright denial of its value and makes life
frivolous and superficial. My quest was always for absolutes.
Neither
Judaism nor Christianity could satisfy me. I was repelled by the narrow, parochial-mindedness
of the synagogue and horrified by the atrocities of Zionism against the
indigenous Arabs of Palestine. I could never reconcile myself to the
complicated, incomprehensible theology of the Christians and the endless
compromises of the Church with moral, social, political and economic evils.
Both the synagogue and the Church, as I encountered them, were filled with
corruption and hypocrisy. In the course
of what Jewish training I received, it was but natural for me to be curious
about the faith historically most closely akin to Judaism. I found that I could
not learn about the Arabs without also learning about Islam and its
civilization and as soon as I discovered that it was not the Arabs who had made
Islam great but the other way around, I wanted to know as much about this faith
as I could. The superiority of the Quran over the Bible to me lay in its
all-embracing universality in contrast to the narrow, rigid nationalism of the
Jewish scriptures. As this universality makes for the superior morality, it has
exerted a drastic effect on the historical development of these religions and
civilizations shaped by them.
In
Islam, my quest for absolute values was satisfied. In Islam I found all that
was true, good and beautiful and which gives meaning and direction to human life (and death) while in other
religions, the Truth is deformed, distorted, restricted and fragmentary. If
anyone chooses to ask me how I came to know this, I can only reply that my
personal life experience was sufficient to convince me. My adherence to the
Islamic faith is thus a calm, cool but very intense conviction. Unlike some
other converts, I never saw the Holy Prophet in my dreams during sleep at
night; I never experienced any mystical vision and nothing dramatic at the time
of my conversion ever happened. Since I have, I believe, always been a Muslim
at heart and by temperament, even before I even knew there was such a thing as
Islam, my conversion was mainly a formality, involving no radical change in my
heart at all but rather only making official what I had been thinking and
yearning for many years.
Soon
after I began the study of the Quran, I discovered that a proper understanding
of it is impossible without some knowledge of the relevant Hadith, for who is
better qualified to interpret the Quran than the man to whom it was revealed?
The Quran provides us with the general outline of the life ordained by Islam
but only the Hadith fill in all the necessary details. To those who deny the
validity of this only authoritative interpretation of Quran:
When
the Prophet’s wife, Ayesha, was asked to described the mode of his life and
conduct, she replied; “His morals are the Quran.” In other words, his daily
life was a true picture of the Quranic teachings. He was an embodiment of all
the virtues which have been enunciated by the Quran. The record of his life
which sheds light on his conduct as a child, as a father, as a neighbour, as a
merchant, as a preacher, as a persecuted fugitive, as a friend, as a warrior,
as an army commander, as a conqueror, as a judge, as a law-giver, as a ruler
and above all, as a devotee of Allah, was all an exemplification of the Book of
Allah.
The
sincerity and purity of his pious living was clearly revealed in his daily
routine.
The
daily routine of his life was extremely rigorous. After the dawn Salat, he
received people so as to educate them. He even settled disputes and
administered justice, received envoys and dictated dispatches and then the
assembly was adjourned. The public function now over, he used to go to one of
his wives and do any work she wanted. He even went to the market for shopping.
Then another short prayer was performed after which he visited the sick and the
poor and called at the houses of his friends and then he went to the mosque for
Zuhr Salat. After returning from the mosque, he took his meal, if it was
available, and then returned to his private apartment for some rest and then
went again to the mosque for the Asr Salat. Afterwards the Holy Prophet would go
to his wives and sit with them until children claimed his time. He led the
Maghrib Salat and then took his evening meal and then returned to his home for
prayers in solitude and rest. He slept for a few hours only and then rose and
prayed and meditated and again retired to bed only for a brief time, rising
again for the dawn Salat when the day’s work began once more. His energy was
extraordinary. He seldom complained of fatigue.
Now
let us see how this pious life affected the activities of his womenfolk :
Hazrat
Ali once asked one of his pupils: Shall I tell you the story of Fatima, the
dearest and most loved daughter of Prophet? When the pupil replied in the
affirmative, he said: “Fatima used to grind the grain herself which caused
callouses on her hands. She carried water for the house in a leather bag which
caused scars on her breast. She cleaned the house herself which made her
clothes dirty. Once when some war-captives were brought to Medina, I said to
her: “Go to the Prophet and request him for a servant to help you in your
housework.” She went to him but found many people round him. As she was very
modest, she could not be bold enough to request the Prophet in the presence of
other people. Next day the Prophet came to our house and said : “Fatima, what
made you come to me yesterday?” She felt shy and kept quiet. I said : “O
Prophet of Allah, Fatima has developed callouses on her hands and breasts on
account of grinding grain and carrying water. She is constantly busy in
cleaning the house and in other domestic work, causing her clothes to remain
dirty. I informed her about the captives and advised her to go to you and
request a servant.” The Prophet replied : “Fatima! Fear Allah! Acquire Taqwa
(piety) and when you go to bed, recite, Subhanallah 33 times, Alhamdulillah 33
times and Allahu Akbar 34 times. This you will find more helpful than a
servant.” Fatima said : “I am content with Allah and His Prophet.”
And
how did the Prophet’s wives spend their time?
Ayesha
said : Maymuna was the most pious and most faithful of her kin among all the
Prophet’s wives. She was seen either engaged in Salat or in domestic duties.
When she was doing neither, she was busy cleaning her teeth with the miswaq.
This
will not appeal to the advocates of the so-called “Women’s Liberation.” The
immediate reaction of the modern-minded woman to this is dismay. She will
certainly ask me how I as a twentieth-century woman, born and reared in modern
America could possibly endorse such an apparently poor and limited life? The
answer is that to the Holy Prophet, depth of experience was more important than
breadth. The fast pace of modern, mechanized living where to be active and
“always on the run” are in themselves regarded as supreme virtues, the
experiences of modern men and women may be broad and varied, yet their minds
remain superficial, fickle and shallow. I would point out to her the fact that
many modern American women are unhappy even though they can do virtually
anything they please. They enjoy the highest standard of living in history;
they are the best-dressed, best-groomed, best-fed, best-housed women anywhere
with the least drudgery; they have the most freedom, the greatest variety of
interesting social contacts, are unexcelled in the extent of their secular
education and have the widest possible opportunity to enrich their
self-indulgence and can do whatever they want, yet despite all these material
advantages, too many American women are restless, dissatisfied and even
neurotic.
For
the Holy Prophet, the purpose of life was achievement---not enjoyment. Pleasure
and happiness in Islam are but the natural by-products of emotional
satisfaction in one’s duties being conscientiously performed for the pleasure
of God to gain salvation in the life to come. In the materialistic world,
achievement is equated with the capturing of political or economic power,
fulfillment in the arts and sciences and acquiring fame, if one is
exceptionally gifted, or enjoying an ample income from business and commerce.
In Islam, achievement is rated on accomplishing what is enduring and worth
while through useful, benevolent and productive work and to refrain from
wasting one’s time in empty self-gratification disgraced by sinful deeds. The
Supreme Achievement is to attain, through implicit obedience to Quran and
Sunnah, eternal salvation in the world to come.
This
was the dominant theme of all the teachings of the Holy Prophet as shown in the
following oration which he delivered at the mosque in Medina in the first year
of the Hijra :
O
people! Make provision for yourselves in advance. You should know by Allah
everyone of you wil indeed faint; then he will leave his cattle without a
shepherd. Then his Lord will say to him---while there will be neither any guide
at hand nor any shelter to hide him---“Did My Messenger not approach you and
deliver My revelation to you? I bestowed wealth and favour upon you. What
provision did you make for yourself?” He will certainly look to the right and
to the left but he will find nothing to help him. Then he will cast his glance
to his front but will see only Hell-fire! So he who is able to save his face
from the Fire, though by means only of a bit of date, should certainly do that
and he who cannot afford it, then do it by means of a kind word. For the good
action will be rewarded and increased from ten to seven hundred times.
And
at Tabuk in Syria in 9 A.H. the Holy Prophet proclaimed :
Verily
the most veracious discourse is the Book of Allah. The most trustworthy
handhold is the word of piety. The best of the religions is the faith of
Ibrahim. The best of precedents is the precedent of Muhammad. The noblest
speech is the invocation of Allah. The finest narratives is this Quran; the
best affairs is that which has been already firmly resolved upon and the worst
thing in religion are innovations. The best of the ways is the path of the
prophets. The noblest death is the death of martyrdom. The greatest blindness
is going astray after guidance. The best of actions is that which benefits. The
best guidance is that which is followed in practice. The worst blindness is the
blindness of the heart.
The
little but sufficient is better than the abundant but alluring. The worst
apology is that which is made at the point of death. The worst regret is that
which will be felt on the Day of Resurrection.
Thus
the Holy Prophet has revealed to me personally and to all mankind for all times
in all places the purpose of human life and what is important and what is not.
Unlike Hinduism, Buddhism and classical Christianity, the Holy Prophet
repudiated monasticism and self-mortification as the path to the spiritual
life. With his perfect emotional balance, he did not shun the legitimate
pleasures of this life. The Holy Prophet was endowed with a fine sense of humor
and occasionally even joined children in their games but nevertheless he never
ceased to emphasize that the interests of this world must always be
subordinated by the Believer to that of the next world. He often told his
Companions that “If you had seen what I have seen (of the Life Hereafter), you
certainly would have laughed little and wept much.”
The
prayers and supplications of the Holy Prophet prove his unmatched devotion to
Allah as the supreme end of life above all worldly considerations. Before going
to sleep each night he never failed to plea :
O
Allah! Save me from the pangs of the Day of Resurrection!
O
Allah! In Thy Name do I die and live.
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